December 14, 2013

Wee hours of the morning after my birthday, I was alone in the house. After my phone convo with my mom, I went to bed to rest my legs and my then humongous baby bump that was ready to pop anytime.  I had to catch up with one of my favorite series:  Big Bang Theory – the episode where Sheldon’s sister was giving birth. Since my greatest fear was to give birth, watching that didn’t help. Instead, I gave in to a little snooze… which didn’t last long. A slight pain keeps coming… at regular intervals! After a little bleeding, I realized one thing: OMG, I AM ON LABOR! I texted my husband who was in the office that time, called our hospital and got more terrified after that.  It’s time.

When husband got home, he was smiling and I wanted to kick him in the balls for that. I don’t like people smiling at me when I am dead scared. As soon as we reached the hospital, I had the usual IE (which I absolutely abhor) and the nurse casually said, “Around 5-6 cm, delivery room kana”. Thought bubble: “Noooooo!” For assurance, I still asked “manganganak na po ba ako?” As first time prego, I feel that it’s not stupid to ask directly. I could hardly remember her answer, but for sure it was a resounding ‘yes’ or something like “obvious ba?”.

Three hours and 40 minutes. All effing pain.

The midwife was playing disco music and my OB was walking around in hair curlers and robe. I hated them. I think I can hate the whole world (including Santa) with the level of pain I was in. I was begging them that I’d just go home and come back the next day. I wasn’t thinking straight. I wasn’t ready. I kind of wanted to  ‘undo’ the ‘waterbag broke’ thing. I asked mommy friends how it feels like to do normal delivery, they said “para kang mamamatay”. It’s an understatement!!! It was more than that. It was the worst menstrual cramps multiplied a million times + hangover . At that time, I was thinking of not having kids after this delivery. Ever. And ever.

And then she came out. I felt the whole of Antartica just came out of me and it was the biggest relief I have ever felt. Ever! A minute after, the doctor was taking a picture with my baby. The next minute, I think passed out.

I woke up in my bed with my husband beside me. The first thing he said to me was “Ang ganda nya, pwedeng model ng gatas!”. As soon as I saw her face, the hate I had for the world vanished. As cliché as it may sound, you would really forget all the pain when you see your little one for the first time. It took a few minutes (or a day) to sink in.

“Nanay na si Kukay”.

I knew things will be different from here on. What do you know, a day after my birthday, a new me was born.

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